thirdheaven: (Dream)
New project for myself, I want to record the dreams I have so I can remember them past the day I have them. This will hopefully be the first of many in this journal.

 I don't remember all of it, but it was a sort of post apocalyptic dream. But instead of the typical reasons it was a massive flood that caused the end of the world. I was in a sort of skyscraper with a bunch of friends and family when the tsunami-like wave hit. The force of the wave itself cause the building to tip and eventually fall on it's side, which caused the building to take some considerable damage. The scene ended with the windows which were now above me shattering and a torrent of water and glass came crushing down from above. 
thirdheaven: (Ouroboros)

I forgot that I had planned to update on how the so called 'date' went. My bad.

 It was awkward, to say the least. Not much of it is worth mentioning other than it was lack-luster and we spent it at her home and I saw every person in her immediate family (This includes, but is not limited to: her mother, father, pregnant sister, niece and Grand father). I haven't talked to her since the event and I've barely talked to Dana since then either. Go figure.

It's apparently been a month since I started feeling like I don't really see my friends anymore, and wouldn't you know it, I don't think I've seen them a single time since then. My days are filled with a dull drone of work followed by hours of meaningless video games or the like. It's no wonder I never feel like I have the energy to do much anymore, I'm notably depressed and it's really starting to show. 

That's all for now, I'll update next month to recount that nothing has changed. Til then, adieu.

Back Again

Jul. 30th, 2012 10:59 pm
thirdheaven: (Fire)
Another post, and it hasn't even been a month! What's up with that? I must be making things up to post more often.

So next weekend I'll be going out on a double date with Dana and her boyfriend. Dana set me up with a friend of hers, though the closer it's gotten to then the more i'm not really sure I want to date this girl in the long run. Some (might be read also as 'most') of my problems with it consist of her current standings in life, such as the fact she has a 6 month old son, for starters. Or the fact she's unemployed, or that the baby's father is a drug addict. I seem to be finding plenty of reasons to avoid her altogether, but I'll be going on the date due purely to the fact that I did ask Dana to help me with finding someone to date, so I owe her that much at least. Who knows, maybe I'll be really smitten with her once I meet her, but I'm not gonna hold my breath. 

Started playing some of the games I have on backlog yesterday. I'm starting with FF 13-2, and so far it's pretty good, to my surprise. I have a ridiculous list left to do, and honestly I doubt it's even possible to finish them all before the end of the year as I'd hoped, but at least it might be some motivation to actually play through some that I wasn't really interested in. 

I realize I sometimes have a bad habit of distancing myself from people, this isn't exactly a new discovery by any means. I tend to do this when I feel like we're not getting along super well in a way that makes it so I'm the one ending our connection instead of the other way around. But to that end, it feels like my friends from the BG area have really shut me out lately. I suppose in light of how much I've done this in the past I probably deserve it, if the slight chance that it's actually true exists, but it's kinda rough none-the-less. On a number of occasions they have seemingly put no effort into accommodating my schedule so that I can join in a few different activities. This extends into other areas too, but overall it's just like they've formed their own tight circle, and I'm not really a part of it any more. With how little I spend time with anyone else, it's really starting to feel like I've got myself isolated. Interesting how I had wanted this at one point, but now that I'm stuck in a situation that I feel I finally am, I want it the way it used to be. Oh Rob, you silly, fickle moron you. 

I'll update after the double-date to share how that went, so look forward to an awkward recount of my first date in a couple years! lol

Rising

Jul. 16th, 2012 10:38 pm
thirdheaven: (Tri-Force)
Hello faithful, back to update you on all things Rob.

Pretty much all the same as it usually is. Lots of good summer movies with the friends, TDKR is this Friday, which I'm rather glad I avoided spoilers so far up to this point cause I think I'm going to walk away from that movie come Friday night and be really happy I didn't have a lot going into it.  Avengers was sweet, first movie I've ever seen three times while it was in theaters still. I liked Spiderman too. Looking forward to having a lot more movies on Blu-ray once they're all released. 

Anime side has been pretty dull lately. I've been watching two shows this season, Hyouka and Sword Art Online. The first of the two is my favorite in quite a while, kinda reminds me of my love for the series Clannad back in the day. 

I'm still ignored on an almost 100% basis on Eharmony.com. Hard to not let it feel a little insulting, especially after oh, I dunno. 9 months of this, but whatever. Maybe online dating isn't my thing after all, which leaves only meeting in person and doing things the traditional way. I suppose it's about time I stopped making excuses and running away from the fact I just don't like to be rejected in person. I plan to go to more anime conventions and I'll try to be more social when I'm out at BG with the friends to see if I can meet some people that way.

I put in for a position on first shift, I'll have the 'interview' for it this Wednesday. A total of four people put in for the job, but honestly I really want to get off second shift. I think it would not only help me sleep better, but it would likely improve my mood, and my opportunities to meet new people and spend more time with my friends. I'm really hoping that I get the position out of all of us who voiced interest. 

That's all for now, I'll update again when I have enough happenings to warrant an entry. Peace.

Rawrathon

Jun. 1st, 2012 09:22 pm
thirdheaven: (Tri-Force)
Happy June, peeps. Realized it had been around 3 months since I last posted anything, so I figured I'd probably reached a mandatory time frame in which I was required to update, lol. 

Visited Tony down in Houston last week. Was good to see him, but he worked every day I was down, and beyond that I don't really know what the purpose of my visit was beyond a typical trip. I don't think I can afford moving down there any time reasonably soon, at least. I'll be visiting Myrtle Beach SC in a couple weeks with my family for a vacation, which will be nice. If I don't come back with a tan from that trip something is wrong with my skin, lol. 

E3 is in 4 days! I didn't even realize it was so close before it was already right on top of me. I can't wait to see if anything unexpected is unveiled, or at least maybe details on games I've been waiting to hear about. Mostly looking forward to any news on Vs. 13, KH 3 and a few smaller projects, maybe even a FF 15 unveil? naaaah.

Plenty more good movies to see this Summer. I've already seen Avengers 3 times, Dark Shadows, and there was another one that I can't quite recall atm, but Spider man, Prometheus, TDKR, Brave, and a couple more are still to come. Thinking of having a movie theater marathon tomorrow while EVERYONE else goes to a friend's wedding. Thanks for the invite... oh wait. (bitter much?)

Heyoo

Mar. 27th, 2012 06:20 pm
thirdheaven: (pic#2122982)
 Something something, yeah w'sup. Spent the weekend enjoying a migraine and vomiting. T'was splendiferous . (I made that word up... I think)
Watched a few movies and lounged around for what time I wasn't asleep over the last couple days. Which wasn't very much, admittedly. Tried to convince myself to play more FFX, but I never started it back up. Maybe today after work or something. I plan to do some writing on my down time at work today, Will be the first I've written since the middle of November... Better extremely late than never!... right? haha ha

Eharmony, why do I keep coming back to try you. I've messaged over 10 different girls in the last week and a half, not a single one has responded to me. That's not doing very much for my confidence, you know! Blah, women. lol

That's all. I've been rather boring as of late, it seems. Deal with it! Or don't. whatever works for you.

Leap Day!

Feb. 29th, 2012 09:19 pm
thirdheaven: (pic#2447822)
Hey there. Been a little while, I think. I didn't check to see how long it'd been since I updated last >.>

I'm doing pretty well with paying off bills, despite wasting a bit of money on stuff I didn't really need. Though I suspect that the coming months I'll be able to do better with my frivolous spending. Was able to pay off my Paypal Bill-me-later account this month, and I've already covered some of march's bills, so once I get my bank account out of the red with my next check I'll put a large chunk towards my bank overdraft account. I should be able to have that paid off in March, then on to my chase credit card. I've also decided starting tomorrow I'm going to get up early and start actually looking for a second job. The extra money is really needed right now so I can pay off my bills a lot faster than I am currently. I'm hoping to be able to put some aside after I pay off a bunch of my bills.

I quit playing LoL! Stupid game is really addicting, even with how bad most everyone else is on that game... My current gaming goal is to try and go back and finish some of the games I bought but never got around to playing. I have enough of them I could probably go a good number of months without ever having to buy anything to occupy me. I'm thinking Shadows of the Colossus will be next after I play Skyrim that I borrowed from Tony a bit more. 

Part of that unnecessary spending I mentioned earlier was getting back on Eharmony. I wasn't having much luck at first, even though one person seemed rather promising, but recently I started talking with a girl by the name of Ching, she lives in Hong Kong. The idea of her living on the other side of the globe bothered me at first, but there's no guarantee that things will work out that far anyways, and if it does then I'll deal with it when the time comes. For now I just want to enjoy it for what it is and not worry about all the details. 
thirdheaven: (pic#2122959)
Heyo, DW. Another few days have passed, another relationship opportunity has come and gone. An old friend of mine was trying to introduce me to a single friend of hers, but apparently I didn't meet her list of requirements. First time I've ever been told that I was too short, lol. On the bright side, I don't feel discouraged at all. In fact, I still feel willing to go out and try to find someone who IS willing to go out with me. My options for locales to meet women are still somewhat limited, but said Ex-gf (person trying to hook me up with high standards girl) suggested that I try going to more anime cons, which really isn't such a bad idea. I just have to try and use my ability to judge others on a rather forgiving scale, since seeing a person's true character at an event where they're likely dressed like a loon isn't exactly easy.

I'm starting to get myself warmed up to do P90x again, beginning with ab ripper x. I did it once a few days back and was sore for a little while, but I'm feeling back up to par again, so I'll probably do it again in a little while. I'd like to finish it before the summer so I can get in a little better shape before the family goes on a vacation to North Carolina. I also plan to put on a little color before then so I don't look like a ghost out on the beach (always been a little self conscious about that)

Other than that, I'll probably try to push myself to write a bit each day, in hopes that maybe it'll be a little easier to get myself to do it on occasion.

on a random side note. I refuse to watch any more anime with wimpy, Japanese men with no backbone. So fed up with the stereotypical male lead in an anime that just let's people, particularly women, walk all over him. If women can argue for equal rights, I think I can at least ask for a less pathetic male image in anime. yeah?
thirdheaven: (Default)
It's been a few days since my last post, and I'm glad to say I'm feeling better than I was. What I said last time is still true to a point, but I think the reason I was so caught up in it was a lot of accumulated stress from the work week. I've been going to bed early the last couple days and taking it easy otherwise, and it's done wonders to make me feel more relaxed.

The parts for my computer finally came in today. After setting everything up and booting it up everything was cool til my tower started putting out smoke like a small chimney, lol. I turned it off right away and checked out what the problem might be. Turns out I screwed up the wiring a bit and reversed the DC charge input for a cord, which ended up frying it to an aromatic crisp. Luckily I caught the problem fast enough nothing of actual use was damaged, the cord itself is something I didn't even really need, so all's well and working.

On a separate note, Valentine's Day was yesterday, one of the only holidays I tend to dislike, having pretty much always been single whenever it came around. Despite my disliking of the holiday itself, it passed by mostly unnoticed this year. Maybe next year I'll finally have someone to spend the day with, only time will tell for sure.

I think I'm going to have a bunch of free time tonight at work, so I might get around to updating the story I started back for NaNo and never got more than a few pages of finished. I've had a growing interest in getting back into writing, and I think I should take that for what it's worth while I still have the motivation to do so.
thirdheaven: (pic#2122982)
I've been feeling more and more depressed recently. I feel like a few things might be part of it, but overall I think it's just a passing mood, or something to that effect. I feel like my friends are slowly leaving me behind, though I suppose that's not anything new. Lately though it feels more apparent than it had in the past. I've gotten used to not having Hunter and Dusty around, both for their obvious circumstances, but I haven't seen Matt Aaron or Justin in ages now. And it seems like I only see Tony and Claire a couple times a month. My feelings are a mix of solitude and the loneliness that brings and then my feeling of wanting to be separate from my self deprecating part of my personality. It feels like it's been an eternity since I last genuinely felt happy about something. Maybe it's about time I considered seeing a specialist/psychologist; I mean, is it really so important to stand by my stubbornness instead of maybe just being happy for a change? That question has been ringing in my mind much more these days.

On impulse I ended up buying a few things for my computer. Hard to figure how I'll end up explaining that to my dad if he sees it since he didn't want me to be spending money on stuff since I'm supposed to be paying off bills and the such. I suppose that's partially due to my mood as of late. I've always found that I tend to buy unnecessary things when I'm feeling down, this time being no exception. Not that I'm using that as an excuse, but it's definitely part of the cause of my poor judgement.

Seeing as the most prevalent emotion I've always displayed in my journals has been some sort of unhappiness, I'm starting to wonder if I've ever been happy.

Eh, enough of this negative crap. I've said before that I'm done doing this whining on my posts. Not posting these depressing updates might not fix the core problem, but at least it's not hurting the cause either.

I Get It

Feb. 7th, 2012 08:47 pm
thirdheaven: (pic#2122959)
Good Tuesday. Today's been a pretty long day, as I had to get up at noon to get to a workshop meeting by 1, then I went straight from there to work. By the time I get home it'll probably be after 1, which equates to roughly a 12-13 hour day. Which really isn't a bad thing, since I've been planning to get a second job as it is, so it's something I would have needed to get used to soon anyways. I still need to start on that, too... Job hunting is hard to find motivation for when you're already working full-time.

I never ended up hearing back from Madeline, not that I'm much bothered by it at this point. I do feel that I'm much more confident with the idea of actually asking a girl out in person now after the events surrounding Madeline, which in the end is something I should probably be happy about. I'm not really sure what I want to do next just yet, but I feel like whatever it is, I'll be much more willing to follow through with whatever the decision ends up being.

On a final note for this update, I've decided I'm going to change my major at school to Medicine, particularly I'm going to aim to be a physician. I feel like I've wanted to admit that I wanted to be a doctor for a long time, but my bitter memories of working in central all these years was leading me to be a bit immature about it. Well, no more. It's a good job, I just have to work super hard towards it. As long as I can manage to keep focused and motivated I know I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.
thirdheaven: (pic#2122959)
I really want to get down to BG tonight to hang out with everyone. I feel like drinking for a change to vent some of the pent up stress I've been dealing with all week.I sent a friend request to the girl from work I'm interested in last week, maybe Friday (The exact day eludes me atm) she accepted that during the weekend and on Sunday evening i sent her a message which more or less asked her out. I would have rather done something of that type in person, but as I was sure I'd probably never see her again otherwise, I felt it was better than not saying anything at all. Well, it's been about 5 days since then, and I have yet to get any response from her, neither a rejection or an acceptance to go out. And to top off my unnecessary anxiety, I found out earlier today that she's a little younger than I thought. She'll be turning 20 in a couple months, which makes me about 5.5 years older than her. Maybe (scratch that, it's likely a certainty) I'm just getting too worked up about all of this, but none-the-less, 5+ days for someone to respond to a confession is a bit much, In my opinion. I haven't decided what I'll do when I finally do something, but whatever it ends up being, I'm going to at least wait til a full week has passed before I do anything.

Otherwise, I've adjusted more or less to being back home with the parents. I don't really see them much since I work second shift and they're more like normal people who function during the day. Come this Monday (if not sooner) I'll be putting effort into finding a second, part-time job to bring in a little more cash. I have a few things I absolutely have to pay off before fall comes around, so I want to make sure I'm putting away as much as possible until then.

Still waiting to get some extra cash to upgrade my computer, too. I really want to get some new parts, but seeing how expensive they are I know it'll probably be a while before I can get to that.

Changes

Jan. 28th, 2012 11:09 pm
thirdheaven: (pic#2122959)
Moved into my parents house on Thursday, still have a ton of stuff in boxes, which I need to sort through once I have a free day. I figure I have this coming Monday off, so I'll probably spend it job hunting for a second job and the latter part of the day I'll use to unpack and decide if I really want to get rid of some things like dishes and kitchen stuff, since it's probably just going to sit around for a couple years if I keep it.

Elliot (My cat) is doing pretty well at getting along with my mom's dogs, rather it's those two that haven't quite gotten used to a cat being around. I'm glad to see nothing is as crazy as I'd prepared myself to be with how hyperactive those dogs can be at times. I got a wireless internet adapter, so I can get on the internet. I had planned to get a new video card for my computer too, but I don't have enough for the one I wanted right now, so I figure I'll just save my money and get it next pay check or something.

I've been watching Nisemonogatari and some something-Natsu-something show on top of space pirates, both are pretty good, which is a pleasant surprise.

I'm trying to get in touch with a girl that was working at the hospital until a few days ago. I'd been interested in her for a while, and was planning on asking her out, but the other day she came to get something and told me it was her last day. It took me by surprise at first, which prevented me from asking her out on the spot, and when I went up later to try and see if I could find her I wasn't able to. I found her on FB, and sent her a friend request so that I can send her a message (she has her security set up so you can't message her without being on her friend's list, it seems). So hopefully she'll accept sometime soon so I can take the plunge and ask her on a date. Worst case scenario is I stay single, and don't talk to her again, which would have been the case if I hadn't tried at all.

Back to work for now, got a few things to finish before I can go home at midnight.
thirdheaven: (pic#2122959)
Here it is, the first journal I've started away from LJ in years. I doubt this will be anything different from what I've been posting up until now, and I'm sure there will be times when I don't post much for a while (as my life sometimes has those periods where nothing of interest seems to happen for a while).

As for actual post stuff, I'll be fully moved over to my parents by the end of Thursday; that's the plan, anyways. I've moved most everything except for my larger furniture and my computer stuff (so I have something to do since everything else of mine is already at my parents).

Star Wars: The Old Republic is still keeping my interest pretty well so far. I started playing with more of my friends which is making it more enjoyable to be on, too. Though playing a high end game like that has rekindled my desire to upgrade my computer (since I hate not being able to play on any setting other than High, lol) so I'm planning to spread out a few new purchases over the coming weeks as my available funds will allow. First thing on the list is a new video card.

I guess that's all for now. Peace out, yo.

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thirdheaven

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